Thoughts on Pregnancy

I never gave much thought to being pregnant before I actually was pregnant. Like... zero thought. Then I got pregnant and I realized that pregnant people deserve medals and applause and 100 million dollars. Maybe that's extreme. But I really do think I deserve a medal and I really would like Kris to clap for me when I walk through the house.

Being pregnant is hard. Really hard. And I want to slap the people who say they loved being pregnant and how wonderful and beautiful it was. Slap, slap. I also want to slap skinny people and people who have good general health. But that is getting into way too many slaps.

I realized that I probably should document some of my pregnancy grievances, so I came here.

This is not a post where I want or expect anybody to feel sorry for me. I really just want to write the stuff down so I remember it and it is a lot easier for me to type than write. Please do not feel bad for me; in fact, feel free to laugh at my pain. I sure did when I went and looked up horror pregnancy stories online to make myself feel better.

Without further ado:

1. Morning "I hate you and want to punch you in the face" sickness. - I have had this for 28 weeks now and counting. It started at week 6 and I thought I was going to die. Why? Because it lasted all. day. long. It became a game. Where could I throw up that I had not thrown up before? My favorite was throwing up in our front lawn because it was the closest accessible place at the time. I'm sure my neighbors loved that. One time I shouted for Kris to pull the car over and I threw open the door and threw up in a parking lot... he gently reminded me that if I took off my seat belt I could probably throw up better outside of the car. I started considering what foods to eat based on how they would taste later. Uh.... nasty. I have been on medicine the entire pregnancy because of the sickness and it has definitely helped me function. If I don't take the medicine I can't get out of bed or walk across a room without hurling all over the place. Love it.

2. Food aversions. I always only heard about food cravings during pregnancy and I will tell you, I was really looking forward to the day when I could tell Kris at 2 am to go get me a corn dog from Sonic. That was the dream. Nope. I got the food aversions. On top of throwing up constantly, almost any and all food the sight, the smell, literally the thought made me so sick that even if I wasn't nauseous at the time I would begin throwing up. And I'm not talking gross foods here. I'm talking my favorite foods. Nuts, guacamole, all Mexican food (and that is MY FAVORITE). I literally went through a period when I could only eat hot pockets and McDonalds fries. Terrible. Luckily this did subside around month 5/6.

3. Heartburn. I have bad words I want to say about this. However, I'll just say that somebody at church told me that the worse you have it the more hair your kid will have when born. So not true, but I battle this one by picturing my little baby's hair growing when the attacks start. She should look like Rapunzel when she gets here.

4. Small Torso Syndrome. Yup, I made this syndrome up. It is for short people who don't have much room in their torsos. Guess what, your baby doesn't care. Nope. In fact, your baby will grow extra long femurs just to prove that she can and that the size of your torso isn't going to stunt her ability to thrive. Thanks kid. Basically the side effect of this is sharp pain near my ribs pretty much all day long. I literally have a bruise forming on the top of my stomach because of whatever she is doing to my insides. Not. Cool. Also, I can't eat. I have no stomach left. I'll be starving one minute, eat one bite and feel like I am going to throw up because I am so full. Fan.Tas.Tic.

5. Constipation. I will say that I was blessed to have this only one time during the pregnancy. I will not talk about it here. It was the darkest hour(s) of my life (truthfully) and I am surprised that Kris can still look at me let alone love me after the events that occurred on that day. Oh the shame.

6. Not gaining weight. Yes, this sounds like a glorious thing. And truthfully maybe part of it is. I have gained about 2 lbs since the very beg. of my pregnancy and I have 6 weeks left to go. Well guess what. When you don't gain weight (and lose 10+ lbs) they worry about the baby. This scored me and Kris three extra rounds of ultrasound tests to make sure our baby was growing and not regressing. Yay! More tests! (She is fine by the way... and that's how they found out she has the extra long femurs. Seriously, her femurs are three weeks ahead of the rest of her body and our doctor actually was laughing out loud about how funny it was that she is so tall.)

7. Exhaustion. Seriously, I am so tired right now I can't even write about this section. I slept 10+ hours last night and I woke up tired. I wake up and my first thought is, "When can I take a nap?" I'm. So. Tired. 

Okay, those are my grievances for today. I love this baby. I am so excited she is coming soon, but I promise you, I will not miss being pregnant.