Pregnant Hypochondriac

(Written the day I actually got to see my baby for the first time.)
I've pretty much been a hypochondriac my entire life.

Headache, probably brain cancer...or an aneurysm
Stomach ache, most definitely cancer...maybe appendicitis
Fell down and hurt my leg, let's hope this doesn't spring a blood clot
Ribs hurt, broken... also most likely punctured a lung


So when I found out I was pregnant one particular movie scene began flashing through my mind. It's from Juno. All you hypochondriacs out there know what I'm about to say. The girl had just taken a pregnancy test (it was positive) and all the way home, as she rode her bike, she kept repeating to herself, "Let it be cancer. Let it be cancer. Let it be cancer." What??? A positive pregnancy test can mean cancer and not baby? Well just sign me up for my screening right now.

So, here I was holding my pregnancy test. Thinking to myself, "This is probably a baby, but maybe I just have cancer." I know that sounds horrible, that is the way my mind works. Anyway, apparently, you have to wait to see a doctor until you are far enough long that the little gummy bear will show up on a screen. (Probably a very good thing for me.) For me that was 4.5 weeks away. And even worse, I started getting really really sick. Morning sickness? What a joke. Try all darn day sickness that requires you be by a toilet or bucket 24/7 because if you even look at food you start hurling your guts out. I promise this did not help the hypochondria.

I really started to believe I was dying. I would sit on the couch and cry, oh my poor husband. "I'm sorry hunny. My last days weren't supposed to be like this. I pictured us at the end of my life dancing and singing and making lemonade while stars fell around us from heaven. Instead, I can't move, I can't think, I can't talk and I willingly want to die. Goodbye. Let me alone to die in peace. Also, can you hand me the TV remote and bucket."

Praise God for doctors, medicine and vacation... all which happened right around the same time. I still couldn't see the doctor, but they prescribed me a wonder drug that immediately gave me relief. Then I was able to lay around for 10 days and not feel guilty about it, which did wonders for my soul.

And finally, it was time to see the doc. I know some parents who get their first ultrasound and burst into tears. Some shout for joy. Some stare in disbelief. Truthfully, my only feeling was relief. Oh dear God, thank you that this baby is real. I was terrified the doctor was going to look at me and say, "I'm sorry, there is no baby, instead we realized you are terminally ill and have only two weeks left to live. It's a good thing you came in." But no, it's real and I got a picture to prove it. Best. Day. Ever.

Then September Flew By

One minute I was returning home from Thailand and the next it is October. There is is a lot that went on in September and a lot I had to be grateful for.

I picked up a second job! Some people have been confused by this so let me explain a little bit. Technically, I work part-time at the church. There are a lot of weeks when it is a full time job, but I am officially only part-time. I got a call from some friends who explained to me that their mom was looking to hire somebody at her shop for only a couple afternoons a week. It seemed like a great fit because she needed somebody who didn't need a lot of work and it allowed for me to do something like I felt like God has been calling me to do - which is get out in my community more. So, on some afternoons, you can find me downtown here.

Let me just do a little promo, there is a fabulous sale going on right now through the 12th- 20% off of everything store wide. Boom. You are welcome.


Then, Kris and I celebrated three years of marriage!

Okay, so I just have to talk about this for a minute. I threw this picture up on Facebook because we take a picture every year on our anniversary. (A family friend made us this really cool scrapbook for our wedding that has a space for an anniversary picture every year for 25 years.) This picture got over 100 likes. That blew me away. It was strange and cool to see that over 100 people care about us in some way. I told Kris, I don't even know if I could name 100 people off the top of my head. So thank you, dear friends, for liking my picture. It really blessed me.

Three years. Wow. What a ride. What a journey. What an adventure. What a... I'll stop. I didn't do an anniversary post, but I will say this. Dearest Kris, you are truly the love of my life and I will admire you and honor you until the day I die. And then maybe I'll come back and haunt you every now and then.

We celebrated by taking off to Sacramento for the night.

We stayed in an awesome hotel with what Kris referred to as "character." There are two types of character people in this world. People who say character and mean dumpy and people who say character and mean absolutely charming. Thank goodness Kris falls into the second category and booked us a rockin hotel with character and charm. We fondued at the Melting Pot and watched cable TV. It is really the little things in life. And no, we don't have cable at home. We probably never will again and our children will hate us.

After Sacramento we came home, you know, to go to church and then headed out for Lake Tahoe. Every year, in September, we head to Lake Tahoe for a Pastor/Spouse retreat with all the other pastors in our conference. It was a fabulous time and I truly had so much fun getting to talk with and hang out with all the other pastors and spouses. There is a kindred spirit among us and it is such a blessing to get to serve alongside of these people. Plus, we got to go on a boat ride. Wooo!

Lastly, I am sure many of you are wondering how our dear cats are. Let me just tell you, they are doing fine. No? You didn't really care? Oh. I just wanted to show off another picture of them. :D

I hope you all are having an awesome week! I'll leave you with this funny FB post my friend sent me after Marriage Monday. It made me lol.

Marriage Monday: Your Spouse Does Not Complete You

How many of us while we were single really worked to improve ourselves? We lost weight, we took a class we always wanted to take, we traveled, we went out with our friends, we read a new book, etc. etc. You? Me?

I feel like there is this idea that when we are single we need to work on ourselves to become the type of person somebody else would want/deserve to marry. And I agree with that. However, it seems that there is this magical thing that happens to couples after the wedding ceremony and it is what I call "false completion." We feel like our journey and wait is finally over and now that we have found "the one" we are wholly and totally complete. I mean how many cards do we see during Valentine's Day that say, "You complete me!" This notion really irritates me for two reasons: 1. It makes it seem like single people are not complete. They can be. 2. Completion does not lie (ever) in the hands of somebody else. Completion can only come from God alone.

Going to just about every Sunday morning service, Wednesday night service, Sunday school, youth group, small group, Christian camp, mission trip under the sun growing up I constantly heard this saying, "There is a God shaped hole in everybody's heart. It is a hole that only God can fill." As cliche as it sounds, I totally agree. As humans we are constantly longing for that something to satisfy us. We judge the people who fill that hole with drugs, sex, alcohol. We tolerate the people who fill that hole with food, inappropriate relationships, sarcasm, anger. Yet, one of the number one ways people try to fill that hole is with their spouse/significant other and it goes completely ignored. In fact, our culture celebrates it.

The problem with this is that (throw back to Christian camp here!) nothing satisfies that deep longing for completion except for the one thing that can make us complete: God. Spouses disappoint, spouses wrong each other, spouses can be forgetful, unforgiving, rude, unkind, inconsiderate, etc. I'm not condoning these actions, but when we enter into marriage or live with the idea in marriage that it is our spouse that makes us complete we have false completion. We become angry when this human that we live with doesn't live up to our expectations. We forget that the human we live with is on a path towards completion as well. Nothing that is incomplete can be a completion for somebody else. That is false.

 We cannot complete somebody else and they cannot complete us.

So this marriage Monday, I challenge you not to focus on another person, but to focus on God. Don't assume or act like your journey is over now that you are married. You are not complete and neither is your spouse. Instead, focus on God this week. Look to Him to complete you. Look to Him to fill the needs, desires, pain, struggle you are facing this week. Enjoy your spouse as somebody who is doing life with you and alongside of you. See them in a new light this week and don't put on them the responsibility of making you complete.

Good luck! I'll be praying for you this week and I'll be working right along side you!

Motivation

I definitely needed this motivation today.



Thank you Shape magazine for inspiring me to work out today! :) Happy Wednesday!

Thailand... A Sweeping Overview

Are you ready to hear about Thailand?!? I'm finally over my jet lag and feel put together enough to share with you all how the trip went! 

This blog will have three parts: 

1. A summary of how the trip came together and went overall 

2. A short timeline of events and photos

3. Links to a video and the testimonies from the students on the trip

I hope you will enjoy it and I hope it moves you as much as it has moved me. To God be the glory! 

God really moved and it was evident that he was with us throughout entire journey of our trip. 

There was a lot of confusion when I first began planning the trip last July. We were actually supposed to go to Haiti, but plans fell through in November. There was a lot of scrambling...trying to figure out if God had something different planned. I had about given up, but then during a prayer time I felt prompted to ask about Thailand. I received an answer almost immediately stating that Headquarters thought Thailand would be a great fit for our team. Without having the team fully set, I booked tickets in late December. Any later and the ticket prices would have become unaffordable. 

Over the next 4.5 months our team raised $31,500. There was not a week that went by that money did not come in. I was constantly blown away by how God continued to bless our team. We had fundraisers that were rained out and when people heard this they donated close to $1,000. We had fundraisers that should not have done as well as they did. Our yard sale raised close to $3,000. We sold water and hot dogs during a festival,  held a city-wide raffle, sold chocolate covered strawberries and wrote letters. In just 4.5 months... God gave us exactly what we needed. Hardly anybody could believe that it had happened to fast. I felt certain that God was calling us to go and preparing the way. 

In late May, early June (right around annual conference) I found out that we would be running an English camp at a Buddhist school while in Thailand. I had never done an English camp before, nor had anybody else on my team. Most of the people on my team had never been out of the country.

Two weeks before we were to go, I found out that the camp would be longer than I had anticipated. One week before we went, I found out we would have 600 kids on a daily basis. I about lost my mind. I spent about a day crying and wondering how God could have actually wanted us to do this trip. The next morning I received an e-mail from a friend who had no idea what was going on. She said she felt like God had prompted her to pray for me and she felt led to tell me that it was a good thing that I facing something I could not handle on my own. She said that God did not want me to get out of whatever it was that I was facing, but that instead he wanted to show me, show our team, show our church that God was the one who was in charge and that God would be glorified through it. Again, she had no idea what was going on...she just said it was something that God put on her heart to pray for and to tell me.
After that, I had a great confidence in moving foward. 

Our church pulled together in one week and donated craft supplies (due to this new large number) and it exceeded what our need was. 

It was extremely evident that God was working in Thailand, using us in Thailand, moving in the Thai Pastors and blessing their ministry abundantly. We spent five days teaching English at the school and we only had about 150 students each day instead of the 600. Instead of all the students coming at once, they had one grade come each day of the week. Every day we told the students and the teachers that we were Christians and that we believed in Jesus. I had prepared a theme for the week of "American Holidays" and each day we taught the students about a different holiday to illustrate a different Bible story. We taught them about the holiday through flashcards, games and crafts and we taught them the Bible stories through story telling, games and flashcards. Every morning we taught the students a new holiday. On Christmas we shared the story of Jesus' birth. On Valentine's Day we talked about the Prodigal Son. On Thanksgiving we told them the story of Jesus healing the blind man. On Independence day we talked about Jesus calming the wind and the waves. In the afternoons, we taught about Easter and with every group we told the story of Jesus' death and resurrection.

At this Buddhist school, kids were learning about Jesus for the very first time, talking about Jesus, singing about Jesus. Not only were the students participating, but the teachers started to get involved as well. One teacher, who we found out was a very strong Buddhist, ended up being the translator for the Bible story station. Everyday she was telling her students the story of Jesus' death and resurrection 3-4 times. The principle was so pleased with our work at the school that he invited our team to be part of a special ceremony which was a great honor. By the time we were done there were requests from 3 other schools to have our team or a team like ours come to their school and teach as well. 

One of the very best parts of the trip was that we had the ability to pray over every student in grades 2-6. Every day they would line up and ask for our autographs and our team members would pray for the students as we signed their papers. Imagine, a person who has never been prayed for receiving prayer for the very first time. 

I say this not to brag, but to say to God be the glory. From the beginning... our trip seemed impossible. A week before we went, our trip seemed impossible. We were not the most equipped and we were not the most prepared and we were not the most knowledgeable about the situation we were getting ourselves into. However, in our weakness, God was glorified. God made his presence known to around 800 Buddhist kids and there is a wide open door for the work to continue. 

I believe our students were deeply impacted by this trip and experience. I know that God is moving and working in their lives as much as he was in the students' lives at the school. 

Enjoy the pictures below! 

July 24th - We left bright and early and headed to the airport. We boarded our plane and flew for the next 20 hours until we reached Bangkok. Can I just say that international flights have come a LONG way from what they used to be back in the day. No more of this one movie per flight business. No, it is like Redbox! You can pick whatever movie you want to see, however many movies you want to see all flight long. Plus, each seat has a touch screen complete with T.V. shows, music, games plus all the movies. I don't even know why I bothered bringing a book. :-P

In the airport...the kids are making a "Glory Tunnel" for one of the team members who was not able to make it to our Sunday day of prayer before we left. 

Final Destination! 

Late July 25th we spent the night at a hotel and the next morning we traveled to our main location.

Our bedroom! 

July 27th the pastors wanted to take us to a zoo and aquarium...which was so fun! The main thing that stood out to me was that they felt the need to keep the guinea pigs locked up in a cage, but let the zebras roam free around the zoo grounds... 

You could get so close to the animals! Kris got his foot bit by a baby tiger!

Just hanging out with an orangutan... you know. 

Lock up those crazy guinea pigs! Let the Zebras roam free! 

Nothing like ending your day with a good sip of coconut milk. Apparently I was going for a romantic kind of photo and Kris was going for a "We're a gang and we're gonna beat you if you steal our coconut" kind of photo. 

July 28th we held a church service and spent time coloring a mural on the wall of one of the children's play rooms at the place we were staying.

Not the best picture...but you get the idea. 

July 29- August 2 we held our English camp at the school. We had close to 800 kids throughout the week, but thankfully only about 150 kids during each day. They divided the kids into groups based on their grades and this made way more manageable than what we had anticipated going in.

One of the grades at the school. 

All the kids wanted our autographs. We used it as a time to pray for each student who came to us. 

This kid wanted his stomach signed.... and Kris did it. 

The team teaching the kids the song "I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy." 

The kids loved singing and dancing with us! 

At the end of the week they honored us by giving us a gift and thanking us for coming. We actually received invitations to come to three other schools while we were there. 

 August 3rd we headed back to Bangkok and visited the world's largest market and discovered the best mall I have ever been to in my life.

This mall was across the street from our hotel. 

August 4th we took the team to a place called Elephant World...which was amazing. We got to pet, feed, hang out with, make food for, sit on, swim with elephants.

Making elephant food! 

August 5th we toured the city of Bangkok, got caught in a thunderstorm, cut our tour short. Headed to a new hotel for the night.

Reclining Buddha 

August 6th we flew home. 

It was truly an amazing and incredible experience. 

If you would like, below you can watch a video of our trip that one of the girls on our team made. 

If you would like to hear the students, leaders and myself talk about the trip you can follow this link and hear our report from church this past Sunday! 

Thank you so much to all those who supported us on this adventure! 

Marriage Monday

On  my wedding day I was 100% sure I wanted to marry Kris. I sat in a chair tucked away in one of the classrooms at my home church, and I waited until they told me it was time to head to the sanctuary. There was no doubt, there was no fear, there was no uncertainty. I always wondered if when I walked down the aisle I would have doubts about the person I would marry, or if I could really commit my life to somebody for...ev...er. There was never a moment when I thought that it was not right to be making a commitment to Kris.

How then, you might ask, did we find ourselves nine months later sitting under a tree on a blanket at a marriage retreat questioning not only if we should have gotten married, but if we should remain married?
There was no infidelity, there was no abuse...it was simply a case of the all too common "we aren't getting along, we grew apart, life is too hard and we would be better off on our own" syndrome that is so common in our world today.

How thankful am I that two years later we are at a place in our marriage where we see more days of triumph and joy than fighting and tears. Not that there aren't fights and struggles, but that God has renewed us and our marriage and I believe blessed us as we continually choose to follow Him despite our feelings or frustrations. We continue to serve God and thus put one another first instead of simply "looking to our own interests" (Phil 2:4), which in the olden days we did quite a bit of.

Somebody made a comment to me today that they felt like Kris and I were the perfect couple, had the perfect marriage. While I thought that was so sweet of them to say, the truth of the matter is that we are not the perfect couple, we do not have the perfect marriage. We have been to the edge and back; we argue, we fight, we have good times and bad times; we have a fierce, deep love for one another, but most importantly, we have a deep and fierce love for God so that no matter what we are feeling or aren't feeling, no matter what the other one does or doesn't do, at the end of the day we still have a reason to be together and fight for our marriage.

I share this with you all, not because I love over-sharing or want to open the deepest parts of my life to just anyone, but because I believe so many people are afraid to speak out about their own marriages and the struggles they face because they look around and feel like everybody else is the "perfect couple." I share this so that you will know my heart on this subject and know that I am not one of those people who have it all together. I too am merely a traveler doing my best to make it to the end, just like you.

And to my fellow travelers, I feel like lately God has been putting the issue of marriage on my heart and I want to travel with you through this. My heart breaks to see what marriage has become in our country. My heart breaks as I look at marriage in the church and see that many of them are no different than marriages of non-believers. My heart breaks as I see church people suffering in their marriages, caged by silence because to open up and talk about problems in a marriage has become taboo. How did that happen anyway? Why do so many people suffer in silence, never telling a soul what they are going through until it is too late?

I've prayed and asked God how I can be involved in coming alongside of those who are struggling in their marriages. How can I connect with those who simply just need to talk about it, who need encouragement. I know many people see me as young and see me as still a newlywed, but the truth is I feel like God has given me wisdom to speak on the topic. At my age and with my trusty three years of marriage under my belt, nobody is going to hire me to speak at a marriage convention or lead a class or write a book and that is okay...I don't need that. I feel like God has been speaking to me lately about how this blog can be place for me to share what His message is and the lessons I have learned along the way. This blog can be a place where people who are struggling and feel like they have no other place to turn can come and connect with me. I promise that I can encourage, pray and love on you.

So marriage Mondays it is.  Every Monday I hope to write on the topic of marriage and I hope you will join me as I believe God wants to bring freedom, new life and joy into all our lives and our relationships!

Coming up later this week: Thailand mission trip, the great salad ideas you all gave me and more!

Salad Week: Salad in a Glass

I hopped over to Cass' blog earlier today and it looks like she and I had the exact same idea! Salad smoothies! And why not? In this day and age a smoothie is a perfectly acceptable substitute for a salad. Plus it is quick, easy, and delicious. The one I drank today was not only tasty and refreshing, but it gave me a total boost in energy!

One tip before I give the recipe: I like to use apple juice in my smoothies because it masks the taste of the vegetables and it balances out the tartness of the kiwis. My smoothies never ever taste like vegetables. If they did I would not be able to drink them.
If you are looking for specific fruits that are great at masking tastes try apples, kiwis and bananas. Basically you can add whatever vegetables or fruits you like to your smoothies. I have found that as long as I have apple juice and kiwi in mine I will always (no matter what else I put in) end up with about the same taste. This gives me room to throw in different types of vegetables depending on what I have in my fridge. You can use whatever you have. I have had smoothies with broccoli, spinach, kale, carrots, cucumbers etc. If this idea scares you, start small. Add just a small portion of veggies or one veggie and see for yourself if you can handle the taste. Later, as you adjust, you can add more until you are getting a decent serving (or more) size!

(Today's) Salad in a Glass

Ingredients: 

1 cup of apple juice 

2 kiwis 

1 apple 

1 carrot 

2 cups of kale

1 cup of spinach 

1 Tbsp of honey 

Just in case you are confused about kale (I was when I first started using it) there are different types, but nutritionally they are the same. I tend to use curly kale because I like the look of it and it is easy to prepare. If you use curly kale make sure to take the time to cut the kale from the stalk in the middle. You can discard the stalks and just use the curly stuff. 

Directions: 

1. Cut up apple, carrot and kiwi to bite size pieces 

2. Put ingredients that hold the most water in blender first. Ie. Apple juice, appple, kiwi. 

3. Add carrots, kale and spinach 

4. Blend: Every blender is different. It may take some experimenting on your part to find the setting that will work best for you and your smoothie. My blender has a "liquidfy" button and I have found that this setting creates the best smoothie for me. Not all blenders have this setting...so it is a matter of experimenting. Your smoothie should not have chunks of any kind. 

5. Pour in a glass, get yourself a straw (because everything tastes better with a straw) and enjoy! 

Don't forget to check out what Cass and Tracey are doing today! Thank you so much for joining us for salad week. Hopefully you found some salads (or created your own) that you can enjoy! I will wrap it all up tomorrow by posting some of the salads that you all shared with me.